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I'm a bilingual mother, trying to teach my son English. But I'm so rusty...am I doing the right thing?


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I'm born and raised in Norway, with a Norwegian father and an English speaking mother. They both spoke English to us at home until we started school, after that we just seemed to use the first word that came to mind, English og Norwegian.

 

When I had my son 15 months ago I really wanted to speak English to him, but since I've been living with a Norwegian man for 5 years I felt a bit rusty.

When he was about 13 months I decided I wanted to give it a try, and have been trying to speak English ever since.

I find it quite difficult, it's as if our communication is restricted in a way. Norwegian is my mother-tongue, but I would classify myself as a fluent speaker of English.

The thing is that when you talk to adults you are able to talk around a subject and make yourself understood, even though you don't know the exact word.

I can't really start saying things like " This is a big animal, that runs fast and says IIIHHHIII" if I have forgotten the word for horse when speaking to my one year old.

 

Another thing is that I feel that the Norwegian is suffering abit aswell, lately there has been no new words. I'm abit afraid of confusing him, and that my English isn't good enough..

 

What do you guys think? Should I drop the English and concentrate on Norwegian, it's easier.

Or should I stick to my guns and hope that I will improve with practise, and that I'm not ruining anything for him.

 

 

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Fortsetter under...

Another thing is that it is so much easier to comfort him in Norwegian. And when I'm tired the English seems to fade from my mind.

 

My mother speaks English to him, and the little tv he watches is mostly English (BBC).

His father speaks Norwegian and he goes to a Norwegian kindergarden.

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I can't tell you what to do, but I am American and speak english with my kids, always have. My husband is norwegian. When my daughter was 3, the day care personnel asked me to try and only speak norwegian with her. I'm thinking, "what??!!!" My norwegian is fluent, but it would be so unnatural for me, esp. as the other response stated, in times when your child needs comfort. Also, I notice it is good to pick a language and stick to it. Might be confusing if sometimes it was english and sometimes norwegian. Bi-lingual kids do seen to speak later so that is a drawback. I wouldn't worry about the english, you children will learn it soon enough anyway. It impresses me how well norwegian kids understand and speak english.

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I would stick to speaking english. Noe er bedre enn ingenting :) Don't start doubting yourself! Your English might not be 100% perfrect, but it's more than good enough! He will learn the basics of grammar, and the most important words in English. You might not be able to teach him to be a native speaker like kids in England, but he will thank you for teaching him English when he's older. You don't have to be an expert in order to teach him English. So, just continue as you've been doing, and don't worry about not knowing all the words in the English dictionary :) There are enough uneducated English parents in England that have a small vocabulary, but their children also learn English. So, my advice, yes, stick to you guns and teach him English as best as you can!!

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  • 2 uker senere...

I think that you should go with what you feel is your nearest language - your mother- tongue. I think it is important to be able to communicate with your child in the language that is the closest and most natural for you.

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If your English is rusty and you're trying to teach your son English, he'd learn rusty English.

So if I were in your shoes, I'd drop the rusty English and stick with Norwegian.

 

If you live in Norway he'll be learning English in school anyhow from an early age, so it's not like he'll never speak English.

Besides, if his grandmother always speak English to him, he'll get a lot for free from her too.

 

At the end of the day, it's your choice, but I wouldn't try to teach my child something as important as a language if I felt I didn't master it completely.

 

Just my two cents...

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Annonse

Thsi woman's English is absolutely fine! It's just a case of not having enough self-esteem. So it doesn't help to discourage her! I think that the people who discourage her here are people who only grew up speaking one language. I grew up with 3 languages living in different countries and am eternally grateful for all 3 languages. It doens't mean that I spoke each language absolutely fluently in all periods in my life, but I had periods of fluency in each language. Believe me, it's better to learn quite a bit than nothing at all. Once again, there really isn't much wrong with this woman's English, her mother is English and she grew up speaking English. She definitely has enough English skills to teach a child English! I really do hope she doesn't give up!!!!

 

Så, ikke gi opp!! Jeg snakker nå norsk, mitt 4. språk, det har vært veldig lett for meg å lære pga mine andre 3 språk. Snakk engelsk med sønnen din :)

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PS. Believe me, your English is just as "rusty" the "rusty English" that is tought in Norwegian schools :) (As a comment to the person saying that your son will learn English in school so you should forget about it)

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Please don't slag other people off for voicing an opinion when this is what's requested!!

 

I actually partially agree with the person saying that if your English is rusty then maybe you should just stick to Norwegian as the Grandmother speaks English and he gets it from TV etc as well. As a mother it's important that you can speak and comfort the child instinctively and not have to search for words, so if the English isn't natural for this kind of communication I think I'd suggest that you drop it as well.

 

An alternative is to locate other native English speakers in your area and get together as you'd soon pick up standard comforting phrases and other bits you need. It is quite a lot different to speak to a child that it is to speak to an adult and if you're not used to it I can understand that it will feel a bit awkward.................

 

Best of luck anyway with what you do, only you can decide, but you've gotten some opinions from us!

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i am norwegian but my husband is not. We speak our own mother-tongue to the baby. I've read a little about being brought up in a bilingual family, and what's recommended seems to be that each parent speak their mother-tongue to the children. It's because you use your "natural" voice in your own mother-tongue, so the children responds better to that. So besides your english being rusty, i think i would speak norwegian if i were you, since you seem to consider that your mother-tongue.

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Hi, i must say i agree with what "Anonym" wrote just above me. My mum is norwegian and my dad is english(but have lived in Norway now for nearly 20 years so he speaks norwegian now, but he didnt when i was young). So i grew up with having my mum speak norwegian and my dad english to me as it's his native language. Nearly the same for my younger sister aswell, but by then my dad learnt some of the language so we all switched between norwegian and english depending on what we felt like.

 

But i have read (cant remember where) that if a child is grown up in a home with two or more different languages, its best for the child that the parents dont switch speaking languages in the early stage as the child will be more confused...

 

So i would say talk norwegian to your child(ren) since this is the language you use the most, and let ur mother speak english with him.

 

 

1/2 Nor & 1/2 UK

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I am Norwegian, and my husband is english. We will most likely move to England eventually, (live on the continent now) and when (i hope) we have children, I will speak to my children in Norwegian. My Norwegian ia also a little rusty but still feel it will benefit the child as languages come in handy!!! So if you want to, stick with it..It might pay of later in their life..

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Annonse

I am in the same situation as "Anonym" who wrote the last message. My husband is an American and I am Norwegian. I was raised all around the world, so even though my parents are Norwegian I grew up with both languages. My parents always spoke Norwegian to us, but we spoke English as a "sibling language," with friends, at school, etc. I have almost equal proficiency in both languages, though I actually consider English a slightly stronger language. My Norwegian is fluent, but I know I occasionally make grammatical mistakes. My idioms aren't always the greatest. We are trying to decide now which languages to speak with the baby, and even though English would seem like the most natural language for me to speak, I will be speaking Norwegian. I'm trying to get used to it even now while the baby is in utero. English would be the "easier" choice for me, but I can't imagine not nurturing the Norwegian part of my child's heritage, especially if we end up living in the US long term. I speak English with my husband, and that will be our "family language." I grew up speaking four languages simultaneously, and will forever be grateful to my parents for making the decision to expose us to several languages.

 

Having said that, however, I would like to add a cautionary note for the mother who asked the question. Your concerns are valid. I am studying to be a literacy specialist, and want to mention one more thought. Upon starting school, children have vastly different playing fields. There is a huge span in how large of a vocabulary a five or six- year old has in a first language, and this continues to be linked to later school performance, regardless of whether the same language is spoken in school. The size of a child's vocabulary does matter, and if your English is "rusty" you probably won't be modeling as large a vocabulary for your child as if it had been your first language.

 

I would say that a lot depends on the man you are living with and on whether you plan to stay in Norway long term. I assume this man consistently speaks Norwegian to the child. If so, the child is getting a strong Norwegian-model from him. If your child goes to a Norwegian "barnehage" he will also pick up a strong language base there. My recommendation would be to keep speaking English consistently, but to also do what you can to nurture the child's Norwegian. Let the child hear you speaking Norwegian to the man you live with. Read Norwegian children's literature aloud (I think you can still do that in Norwegian) and make sure the child has other strong language models. Being raised bilingual is a wonderful thing, but make sure the groundwork is set to make Norwegian a fluent language. Good luck!

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  • 4 uker senere...

I believe it is good for children to be exposed to more than one language. If Norwegian is the family language and you use English it will help him get a good foundation to build on when starting school. Children are amazing learners and even your rusty English does not really matter when sitting down with children's books and point and repeat words. The more you use your English the less rusty it will be, and if you speak English with your mum together with your son, that will help too.

 

My future children have Norwegian parent, but I am pretty sure I will use some English as well, altough we are living in Norway. Because I feel comfortable speaking English and because I think it is important for children to learn several languages. Another bonus is that my children will be able to communicate with foreign visitors (we have family and many friends all over the world), even though it may only be on a very basic level. I can still remember as my family had visitors from USA when I was a kid and how frustrated I was because I could not talk to them and not understand what they said to me. Even a few words would have helped a lot.

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  • 2 uker senere...

I am more or less bilingual myself and I have listened to some very firm advise on this subject: The essence seems to be that the parents should prefer their native tounge when communicating with the child. However fluent you may be in another language, only your native tounge will give voice to your true and inner emotions, and this seems to be very important in contact with your child.

 

Later on it is perfectly all right to talk two (or more) languages to the child. I can use my family as an example: My older children were 10 and 12 when we moved to the UK and stayed there for a year. They went to a local school. We came back to Norway 3 years ago, and still communication at home is appr 60 % English, 40 % Norwegian.

 

 

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Snakk begge språk med ham!! Tro meg , han blir ikke forvirret. Barns hjerne formes, han har en mulighet til å lære nå som aldri kommer igjen! Det kan virke som om han blir forvirret i begynnelsen, blander ord, etc, men det vil rette seg ut etterhvert! Lykke til

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I am Norwegian, my husband English. We speak our own languages to our child. always have. she is not at all slow at speaking, she is rather good for her age. She mostly answers us both in Norwegian now, but she understand all my husband says to her. keep speaking English, yours will be better aswell whn you use it more. Good luck.

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