TRIlingual kid?

[Ladypau]

Hi! I'm from Argentina (hence I grew up speaking spanish) and my husband is Norwegian.

We live in Norway.

We are expecting our first baby in February.

Although I've been studying Norwegian I am far from being fluent!

My husband and I speak in English at home. I've lived in the UK and US for over 3 years and been speaking English for more than 10 years so it comes really natural to me.

I really want to speak spanish to my baby, specially because back in Argentina my family is not exactly fluent in English.

But....what about me and my husband speaking English with each other? Won't that confuse the baby? If I end up spending more time with the baby, will he still speak Norwegian? (his dad would speak Norwegian to him) I wouldn't want my child to feel any different from anyone else later on.

Also, I'm afraid to miss out on conversations my husband and baby will have in Norwegian and I'm afraid he will go trough the same with Spanish (he is not THAT fluent)

Any recommendations?

Thanks a lot!

 

[DelabeB]

what about me and my husband speaking English with each other? Won't that confuse the baby?

 

It will help the baby learn English to hear you speaking English to each other, and no, it does not confuse the baby--they will learn to speak one langauage to each parent, and then also english. But it will be very very tough for YOU to be consistent...believe me I am in the middle of it with my son. Kids in this situation do really well in the long run...but when you are in the middle of it, they can either not speak at all, blend the languages a lot, or choose a dominant language. It can be really sad and frustrating for whichever parent is the speaker of the minority language. And it does happen...the thing you must remember is to be CONSISTENT...and not give up speaking in your own langauge. Kids are amazing, they pick things up so fast--so while it *feels* like they are not learning, not understanding, not picking things up--and like it would be just so much easier to speak in the language they choose--it is the one thing that will destroy their development in the language.

 

If I end up spending more time with the baby, will he still speak Norwegian? (his dad would speak Norwegian to him)

 

Yes. My husband speaks exclusively to our kids in Norwegian, as do the extended family--I stayed home with him for two years--and he speaks more Norwegian than English. Trust me, he WILL pick up the community language. What you will have trouble with is the minority language--because you will be his ONLY source for that language, and it is a tough, tough job.

 

I wouldn't want my child to feel any different from anyone else later on.

 

Different is not bad. Different is just different. And after a few years, your kids will be the 'cool' ones because they will be able to speak lots of languages--including English, which is what a lot of "cool" things come from for kids...like movies, toys, music, etc.

 

Also, I'm afraid to miss out on conversations my husband and baby will have in Norwegian

 

Learn Norwegian. Very very important. It is not good or easy for one parent to be left out of any language. The good thing--you can learn along with your baby...trust me, as you begin to learn, you will be able to communicate in simple Norwegian to your baby! By the time he is having actual 'conversations" in Norwegian (2.5-3 yo) you will be able to follow it...he won't be talking philosophy or anything

 

 

and I'm afraid he will go trough the same with Spanish (he is not THAT fluent)

 

Have your husband learn Spanish...same reasons.

 

Good Luck! Buena Suerte! Lykke Til !

 

 

[Ladypau]

Hi DelabeB!

Thanks a lot for your reply! I am indeed so curious about how the whole thing will turn up and I know the secret is to be consistent.

It will be hard for me, cus I hardly ever speak spanish any more! (Only when I talk to my family back home on the phone) but I know I will be his only source of the language and I really want him to be able to communicate with his extended Argentinean family when he grows up.

I am taking Norwegian classes (4 weeks now) and little by little I am starting to feel more comfortable, but I do fear I will not be good enough, although what you mentions about learning together with the baby sounds like something that can definitely happen!

My husband is a bit more lazy about Spanish...lately I've been trying to use it more around the house, but I have the feeling that him having the baby and us using spanish around will also help him learning spanish, hm?

Thanks a lot again!

 

[Anonym bruker]

I would focus purely on the Spanish if I were you. Let the child learn Spanish and Norwegian by fluent speakers (you and your husband). If the child picks up English then that's just a bonus, but I would not have introduced the language to the child. It would be different if you were living in the UK/US as they would automatically get immersed in it by fluent speakers.

 

And I think your husband may get more interested in Spanish so as not to be "left out" of your conversation as the child grows older!!

 

Best of luck!

[Ladypau]

That's the thing...I am not concern AT ALL about English...I would totally avoid it if I could, but at this point me and my husband do relay on it 100%. It would be impossible to have a relationship in Norwegian or Spanish (at least right now) and I fear this might end up making things harder for the baby and us...That's my main concern really.

My husband is able to understand some Spanish, the same with me with Norwegian and I think that listening to each other talking to the baby is going to help, but I'm afraid English will still be spoken in the house for at least a couple of years...

[Little Miss Naughty]

Hi. We are a Norwegian/English bilingual family living in Norway.

I just want to give you this link to a newsletter for multilingual families

http://www.bilingualfamilynewsletter.com/

 

This might be of help to you to find the right solution.

 

 

[Ladypau]

Thanks a lot, I'm gonna check it out!

[Gjest]

We are in the exact same situation. My husband is Mexican, and we speak more English than Spanish with each other. He speaks Spanish to chiquita, I speak Norwegian. Sometimes I speak Spanish too.

 

I think it will work out fine, and she will learn all three languages, although the focus is on Spanish and Norwegian

 

Good luck!

[Ladypau]

I hope it does! hehe...Does Chiquita seem to understand you both?

[Gjest]

Yes, she LOVES it when people speak Spanish to her *grinning* But she is just 7 months, so she doesn't understand all that much in any lingo yet.

[Ladypau]

hehe...nice!

looking forward to it!

[Tokatter_USA]

Our child is "only" bilingual, but we are dealing with some of the issues you are worried about.

I am her only source of learning Norwegian, except for books and videos. I wasn't used to speaking Norwegian either on a daily basis, but having been doing it since her birth, it now feels so natural that it seems weird to speak English to other kids.

 

Her father doesn't understand Norwegian, so he is left out of conversations between her and me. It doesn't seem to bother him, but it bothers me, so that sometimes I say the same thing twice, once in English, once in Norwegian, or sometimes I speak TO him ABOUT her, instead of talking to her, just to include him. (Instead of telling her to finish her food, I might say to her Dad: "I think she should finish her food".)

 

It's awkward at times, but I feel it's so important for her to learn both languages that I keep at it and stay consistent.

 

You and your husband have the added challenge of being two parents who will both feel left out of conversations - but don't you think you'll get better at at least understanding each other's language? That way, you can speak Spanish, your husband can answer in Norwegian, and vice versa, your child will understand it all, and if you need a "secret" language sometimes, you and your husband can speak English! (Your child may or may not learn English if you don't try. I don't think it will confuse him or her.)

 

Last time my daughter and I were home (in Norway), we visited an old friend of mine, whose husband is American. Their children spoke Norwegian, but understood English, and my daughter did the opposite. The kids could understand each other perfectly, and that was one of the coolest things I'd ever seen.

 

Good luck!

 

 

[Anonym bruker]

My husband-to-be is from Lebanon and I m Norwegian. Our common language is French. So for the baby it will be Norwegian, Arabic and some French;-)

[Carinoula]

I find this discussion really interesting. I am Norwegian and my husband is Greek and we are now living in Greece. We met in the UK, so we mostly communicate in English (although more Greek now than we used to as my Greek is finally improving), and in the beginning when we met we actually mostly communicated in Spanish (we are both fluent speakers, albeit not natives). I will def speak Norwegian to our daugher when she's born in June, and my husband and pretty much everyone else around us will speak Greek to her.

 

I am also a bit worried about the baby listening to us communicate together, due to the English-Greek (and sometimes, but very seldomly now, Spanish) mix. Also, how will the baby react when she hears me speaking Greek to my parents-in-law, in the magazines, streets, with friends etc? Will she be able to understand the different setting of the use of the language?

 

Ladypau, do you try to speak Norwegian when you are out and about, or do you mostly speak English? I would love to hear how it works out for you and your husband, as you have some months exercising before we get there

 

 

[Gjest yrild]

Hi :-)

 

Im Norwegian, my husband Colombian and we live in Switzerland. We are just on the level of trying to get a baby but have discussed the language issue a lot. Luckily for us we have quite many friends from two different country, living in a third, who already has children. What we see is that the language of the country were you live never is a problem as long as the kids goes to kindergarden/school. The Parents languages differ depending on if they both spend a lot of time with the child(ren). Generally all the children we know spoke late and mixed a lot in the beginning, but speak all three languages more or less fluently when they start to really communicate. I do belive it will be an advantage for your child, much more than something that will make him or her seem strange :-)

 

Klem

[Anonym bruker]

We have trilingual children and it works VERY well. We are both Norwegian and we live in Switzerland. Our daughter learned Norwegian only until she was 3. She had picked up some Swiss German phrases at the playground and could understand a little, but she couldn;t speal it. Then she started a bilingual (english/german) preschool where she learned those 2 languages simultaneously. It was just amazing!!!!! I was a bit worried, I wanted her to learn German so she could communicate better outside of the home, but they assured me she would learn both. And sure enough she did! Her English is fluent (she is now 6) and her German as well, except for a few grammatical errors.

We travel to Norway 3 or 4 times a year and we speak Norwegian exclusively at home, no exceptions. And the funniest thing is that she doesn't mix them up AT ALL. She turns to me and speaks Norwegian and back to her friends in english and/or german, depending on who is here right then.

 

I think the key to our success story, is that she has a mother tongue which she can speak fluently first.And our advantage is that both parents are Norwegian. Other friends of mine with Swiss husbands are having more trouble with keeping the Norwegian language the main one, because the parents don;t speak Norw together.

 

Where in Norway do you live, by the way?

[eande]

This is an interesting topic to me as well!

 

I am American speaking only english(learning norwegian). My husband is Norwegian speaking norwegian and english (some others but not daily to influence) we moved from the states to norway when my son was 15months and my daughter has just turned 4 years. So bacially they both had a perfect understanding of english. i speak only english and my husband has been reading books to them in norwegian since they were born.

 

my children started barnehage at 2 years and 4 1/2 years and i must say that within 1 month (literally, i swear!) they were both fluent in norwegian. i guess being totally submersed in the language was the key. we only speak english at home and they speak norwegian everywhere else. neither one of them has any problem with saying something to me in english and then turning to their father/friends/etc and spouting out some norwegian. Totally amazing! I couldn't believe it was that easy. So easy that I am now considering trying to teach them spanish! What a perfect age for children to learn, especially languages.

 

I agree with the other responses that you should speak spanish to her and your husband speak norwegian. she will learn english when she starts 2nd grade ;o) you will be amazed at how unconfused she will be and how amazing at learning/speaking 2 languages.

 

good luck to you!!

p.s.-you teach my children spanish and i'll teach your daughter english! )

[elinom trebarnsmor]

Children are amazing. If you speak to them in three languages, they will learn three languages. And answer in the language they're spoken to. great!

[NannyMcZee]

I have no children of my own, but I was a nanny for some time. I came into a trilingual family where the mother spoke German, the father Italian and English was also spoken, but not too often. The little girl I took care of was 4 at the time and was fluent in both German and Italian and understood some English. My job was only to speak English to her. Within 6 months she was as fluent as a 4 year old can be. I am still in touch with the family, the girl just turned 8 and she is stronger in German and Italian, but speaks English very good, getting better after having an English nanny again after a year with German nanny.

 

She writes all 3 languages, German and English better than Italian.

 

Her two cousins, 7 and 2 when I was there had a German mother, Greek father and English nannies. They are also fluent in all 3 languages now, at the age of 11 and 4.

 

The girl I took care of never had a hard time knowing which language to speak to which person. It was English to me, Italian to her dad and German and Italian to her mom. Her mom speaks 6 languages.

 

I speak English/German/Italian too and can today mix all 3 languages in a sentence when I talk to the girl with no problem. She lives in a German speaking environment, but because her parents and nannies have been persistent, she is still strong in both of the non dominant languages. Up until now she has been in German school, but will be moved to International school in the fall, which shouldn't be a problem.

[NannyMcZee]

Me again, I forgot to say something.

 

My cousin is married to a woman from Brazil. Now they have 2 children and they both speak 4 languages. From birth the mother spoke Portuguese to them, the father Norwegian and the parents English together. As the kids grew older and they were secure in those 3 languages the mother started to speak French to them as she was fluent in that as well. The kids are now fluent in all 4.

[Anonym bruker]

Intersting topic!

I am norwegian, my husbond is german, we live in Norway and we talk english together. I'm talking norwegian to our daughter, the father german. Our daughter is now 2,5 years old and she talks very good norweian, but the german words are only in between, and no "real" talking. English is absolutely absent... I don't know if that's going to change in the future...

I hope she is going to talk both norwegian and german, but i'm a little afraid, since the father is not consistent... He's changing to some kind of norwegian in between... But it looks like she understand everything he says in german... English is not really important i think, since both me and my husbond is not talking perfect english. We have some huge mistakes here and there, and i'm a bit afraid she's going to learn the mistakes from us;-)