mommy3

[shari_z]

Heisann!

 

Er det deg, du som hadde termin med jente nr 3 nesten samtidig som meg i oktober 08? Er det mulig?

 

Hilsen fra american-lady i Drammen

[mommy3]

YEAH! It's me - and it's you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe this!! Yes, it's me Krissy and I'm preggy with number four! Due date August 4th! And you, sweet Shari?

[shari_z]

What are the odds????? Here I also sit preggo with number 4 (3rd living) with a due date of Aug 7! Can you believe it? That is just so bizarre that we should be pregnant again at the same time with nearly the same due date again - and without discussing it with each other first.

 

How have you been? How's your little 2 yr old now? In daycare? Mine is at home with me, but we go to open bhg 3 days a week. My oldest is in 4th grade now, and we haven't told her yet. Going to make it a Christmas surprise for her by writing a note (in English!) and wrapping it up under the tree. :-) I'm looking forward to seeing her face when she reads it. Is your oldest in 2nd grade now? Or is it 1st this year? I'm bad about remembering all these things.

 

Best wishes to you! Hope we can follow each other all the way through to the end!

[shari_z]

By the way, are you going to do the duo-test this time? Last time you were a tad too young for it, weren't you? I've got my first appt with the midwife on Dec 20 and hope that a doctor will be around to refer me to Ullevål for that. Between last time and this time, my cousin had a son with complete Trisomy 13 and did not survive (they actually made the decision to end the pregnancy as he was starting to suffer). And the people renting my apartment upstairs have a son with Trisomy 21 and he is really plagued with a lot of extra problems. All of this has made me a little more cautious than I was last time, and a lot more concerned, when I see the challenges in every day life. And when I think about my age, my hubby's age, and who will take care of my baby (if born with birth defects) when we are old and gone and my baby is an adult who still needs help. Mercy me, I think too much.

 

Wish you still lived close by - it would have been so fun to meet again!

 

 

[mommy3]

Hey twin-preggy-sis! Yeah, none of us planned this with one another, so it's strictly a lovely coincidence once again! :-)

 

Esther Suzanne turned two on Oct 14th (and yours a few days later?) and is in daycare four days a week from 9 - 15. She's a HUGE blessing to us and such an easy child. My oldest, Johanna Zoe, is in 2nd grade, but is still a little girl in my eyes :-). Rebecca Rose is 4 1/2 and a really caring and patient big sis for Esther (which is still shocking to us as we perceived her to have a rough personality).

 

Neat that we found each other like this since I don't have your phone number anymore (phone died this summer), and could not remember your last name. And HEY - you're STILL not on Facebook, are you?! Please, PLEASE do so! Imagine all the pictures you could see (and share)!

 

Now I'm going to answer your other email

[mommy3]

The duo test? I asked what that is in this forum just a few hours ago. But because of what you wrote I'm guessing that it's a test to see if the baby is healthy?

 

In that case, no. I don't want to know if the baby is "abnormal" etc until I give birth. The main reason: I'm a 100% pro-lifer. So if the baby has Downs or something it wouldn't help me at all to know while s/he is still in my tummy.

 

And you? Would you actually be able to go through with an abortion if you found out that the baby is "unhealthy"? I think it's a decision that haunts people the rest of their lives. I even know of a woman who found out that the baby had no brain at all when she was 5 months pregnant. Knowing that the baby would die instantly when they cut the chord she still had a hard time with the idea of an abortion. Well, she finally gave in and had one. But to this day (five years later) she still feels bad about it...

 

So, think about it long and hard, Love.

 

Yeah, it's a shame we don't live closer... Are you ever in my neck of the woods?

[shari_z]

I can understand and respect your reason for not wanting to know if the baby is healthy or not. And I can even agree with it.

 

However, I am a person who needs to know. I have to know what's coming, I need to be able to mentally prepare. My husband and I always said we'd never have an abortion, and I do still feel that way; however, after my cousin's experience (he and his wife are geneticists, he with a Ph.D. and she with a master's) with Trisomi 13, I found out that I have to respect the choice they made, and I understand and agree with it as well.

 

You see, I have a hard enough time knowing that I've had a stillbirth and two miscarriages, and carry a lot of guilt - especially over the stillbirth, and I don't know (can't know until I'm in the situation) that I could ever follow through with an abortion because of birth defects, especially Trisomi 21 which is really quite doable to live with. T18 and T13 are harder for me, because they are much more serious conditions than Down's, and I really do want to know beforehand if my child has one of those conditions. So I don't *think* would do anything with the knowledge apart from mentally prepare myself for the future, and have medical personnel prepared to help my child at birth. But there is this little part of me who feels so sad for the baby my cousin lost, who was starting to suffer in utero and experience pain because he had so many birth defects that were truly incompatible with life on the outside - and inside. And I know he and his wife have suffered with making the decision they made - and really, that's the part that would break me: making the choice for life or death for my child.

 

Well, I dont know if you understand, maybe if you read their story you'd see where I'm coming from (but not all the way, because there are always the stories behind the stories). My first and foremost interest in having a duo-test done is to be able to prepare myself mentally for the future if something has gone wrong with my baby. (You should read about Evy Kristine, I think her story is on the fostervannsprøve & ultralyd forum -her mother is SFB (nick); she had T18 and her parents chose to follow through with the pregnancy. Her mother writes so beautifully, so compassionately and with so much love; I cried and cried reading their story and I have such great respect for the choice they made. And in their situation, I'd rather make their choice than the choice my cousin made, because I really don't want to be the one to say that life is over. Although as I said, I respect both of them for the choice they made, a choice made with love and with their child's interest placed first.) I've thought a lot about this after Nuki was born, especially after reading the stories of two couples who made different choices in a situation that is just heart-rendering, and wondering: what would I do if I were in that situation? How can I do what's best for my child, and do what's best for my mental health? I was so sure of my answers until I read about Bryce (my cousin's child) and Evy Kristine; now I am praying that God will not put me in that position. Now I pray that my child will be healthy at birth, and healthy throughout life. And that should God answer my prayer in a way I find hard, I count on Him giving me strength to meet the future.

 

I'm still thinking long and hard about it, and guess I will till I get an answer that says everything looks okay. (I don't even want to do an amnio, as there is a small chance it can cause a miscarriage, and should that happen, I don't think I'd deal well with the guilt. My husband agrees with me; we go for non-invasive diagnostics to prepare ourselves for the future.)

 

Where are you at these days, was it Lillehammer? Can't say as I'm ever in that neck of the woods, no. Well, when we go to Texas, I deliver my dog to a kennel in Dombås, so then I'm passing through, but we have no plans of doing such a trip until summer 2012 when my grandmother will turn 100.

 

Now exhaustion is taking over; I got a whopping 2.5 hrs' worth of sleep last night! Yippeeeee! I think I'm going to go put myself where I belong right now: sleeping in my bed.

 

Nighty-night!

[mommy3]

Hey! Sorry I'm late at answering, but have been sick for two days with stomache flu! I'm sooo grateful that it wasn't preggy nausea. I thought it was yesterday morning when I woke up: "Uh-oh, here it comes!", I thought to myself. But it wasn't :-)

 

I liked what you wrote up there. You sure are thinking through all of this. And if I understand corrrectly you won't have an abortion, but you just want to know beforehand to be prepared, eh?

 

Where we live? 10 kilometers from Hamar (which is south of Lillehammer). Out on the countryside, but with about 40 neighboring houses around. Love it out here. I work at Youth with a Mission's (check out ywam.org to find out more) offices down the street. I write for their magazine called Mot Målet - it comes out 5 times a year, and is all about what God is doing around the world, especially with YWAMers.

 

Well, I guess we'll just have to get used to the idea of having a "long-distance" relationship. But if you'd just get on Facebook, Darlin'!

 

Hugs in any case

[shari_z]

Have you not been nauseated yet from the pregnancy? I usually start feeling sick around week 6-7, but this time it started in week 4. But oddly enough, not every day - which really stresses me out, making me wonder if everything is going to go wrong this time as well (6th pregnancy, only have 2 living children). On the other hand, since I have a vikar job, it works out better that I'm not feeling so crummy.

 

You understand me correctly, I just want to be prepared. I have to be.

 

I've been reading about YWAM. Is it associated with any specific church, or is it truly across-the-board Christians? Sounds interesting in any event. Growing up, I always wanted to be a missionary in Africa or the South Pacific. Instead I end up in Norway. Hmmm. How different life can be from what you imagine.

 

Facebook - I'm fundamentally opposed to it. Sorry 'bout that. I don't like that they keep all your private info, and I don't actually believe them that they've "fixed" that. I had actually never seen it before my aunt and uncle visited me in October, then my aunt was showing me all her photos and stuff on FB. It does look interesting, but I really want my private life private. Or at least to live in the belief that it is (because I know "they" know a lot about me out there, whoever "they" are).

 

How's the English coming with your girls? I am so happy that Nuki is saying a few words in English, more than in Norwegian! She understands both equally well, but it warms my heart to hear her say "more", "bread", "hungry" etc. I had actually planned to go to Indiana in Jan and stay until Aug. However, this vikar job literally fell into my lap mid-Nov, and then I find myself in the family way, so my trip is canceled. I wanted Clara to go to school there and learn English as a native language, and for the Nuki to learn it period. Oh well, maybe in 2012.

 

It'll be fun to follow each other the whole way this time; last time I saw your nickname early on and wondered about you, but never dared to ask. And then, and this is so weird, I started thinking about you again right before Esther had her bday (didnt know how to contact you to say Happy Bday) and you just stayed in my thoughts. Then I saw one here who has the nick Sweet Mommy, which reminded me more of you, and I really started wondering how you were doing, if you were finished with babies, etc. And suddenly there you were! I was very happy. :-)

 

Guess I'll go start making dinner now. My kiddos are hungry, and I expect my hubby will be as well when he gets home.

 

Hugs!

 

[shari_z]

Hi Krissy!

 

Hope you've had a really nice Christmas weekend. Wanted to send you a message yesterday, but just didn't get around to it - life has been really stressful.

 

How's the pregnancy going? Any symptoms? Feeling okay? Have you told your family?

 

For us, life is just chaos right now. I'm wondering if I'm losing the pregnancy; starting spotting/bleeding yesterday with cramping, but no major amounts of blood have come, so I have still some hope. Have an UL scheduled for Wed, so hope to find out then how things are. And hope nothing gets worse before that. We told our families Christmas Eve, and then this. Ugh.

 

My youngest is sick (vomiting and diarrhea) and my husband is in the hospital with serious complications after a really simple day surgery, so all in all, it has just been the craziest Christmas ever, and not one we'll ever forget.

 

Hope so much that all is well with you, your pregnancy and your little family - and that you are staying WARM! For my goodness, hasn't it been cold these last weeks? Sure am wishing I were in Texas now....

 

A big Christmas hug and God bless!

Shari

[shari_z]

Hi Krissy,

 

Just to say I've had a miscarriage and won't be around here much now. I hope all goes well with your pregnancy and that you have a great 2011!

 

Hugs

Shari